See more of what I mean below.
Here are your "Ten Things to Know about Trauma" videos. Enjoy!
[1] Understanding Trauma is Essential for Every Coach
"The more you understand trauma, the more you can create an environment of safety for your clients.
The more safe they feel, the more they heal, grow, and get the results they're looking for."
Here's the skinny: most people in the world are carrying trauma to varying degree. And you can't handpick clients without trauma, because it doesn't always surface on a consult.
If you have ever wondered if there was more you could do for your clients, having a trauma lens is a paramount coaching tool to add to your toolbelt.
[2] One Common Misconception about Trauma
Some people complain that we throw the term around too much.
What do I think? I think it depends, but if I had to choose yay or nay, I'd say:
No, I don’t think we use it too much.
Want to know why? Check out the video.
[3] Humans are not One Dimensional
A coach’s program shouldn’t be either.
All humans are nuanced, and all humans learn, feel, heal, and grow differently.
This matters because why pick a one-dimensional approach to coaching when you could show up with more?
I’m not trying to make things complicated, and don't worry, everyone starts somewhere.
I want you to see that there are multiple modalities, and how great would it be to take what resonates with you and make it your own?
[4] Do no harm
We never intend to do harm as coaches.
However, intending to not harm and not doing harm are two very different things.
Coaching is a courageous responsibility, and part of that responsibility is being willing to learn more of what we don’t know to better serve our clients.
See what I mean in this video.
[5] Treatment Induced Trauma
Let’s talk about Institutionalized Trauma, better known as Treatment-Induced Trauma. This happens when a person courageously reaches out for assistance or help, and ultimately comes away feeling frustrated, missed, ignored, and harmed.
This can happen when reaching out to health providers, therapists, coaches, faith-based communities, and any place that offers services to humans seeking help.
Partners, people who have been betrayed, or who are on the receiving end of any type of abuse are a HUGELY UNDERSERVED POPULATION.
"As coaches, if we aren’t handling things seriously and instead dismiss their trauma as a thought, when it’s ssssooooo much more, it can do harm."
When we add Trauma-Informed Mindset Work to our coaching toolbelt, utilize the tools we have knowing how and when to implement them; we can automatically reduce the risk of harm to our clients.
[6] What I've observed over the past 4 years of coaching
Coaching often involves mindset work because of its tremendous influence during the healing process.
However, we need to be aware of when our clients (or ourselves, wink wink) use mindset work against themselves, which can, over time, create or compound trauma.
And no, I’m not here to scare anyone. I’m here to help you see how much you CAN do as a coach.
I am an advocate for the humans, and I’m an advocate for YOU!
Sometimes our clients simply need awareness in order to create the pathway for incredible, positive healing shifts.
The order of healing and growth varies. As a coach, having a healing model to follow will enable you to remain calm, centered, and focused on your client.
[7] Got Countertransference?
Have you ever been triggered during a coaching session?
If so, welcome to the world of being a human being.
This is normal!
The more you know about yourself, the more you can pick up on your body's cues, your client's cues, and reduce Countertransference.
Are you able to ground yourself while simultaneously serving your clients when this happens?
How do you know when to continue with mindset work versus dropping everything and using trauma tools to get your client back to safety?
If we aren’t prepared, aware, and know what to look for, how can we help them? How will they walk away from our sessions with true clarity if we miss our own triggers? The more you understand trauma and how to work with it, the more you’ll be able to help your client with these sticky thoughts and belief systems that have been with them for a very long time.
[8] We all have a story. Here's mine.
I am a woman, who after 12 years of marriage, learned that my husband was looking at pornography and lying to me about it. To say that was hard is a total understatement.
To say that it wasn’t traumatic is reductionistic.
Some said that my mentality was the issue—that porn in a marriage isn’t something that needs to be traumatic. But for me, it was traumatic; it was complete heartache (fun fact: did you know that when people feel “heartbroken” their heart can actually change sizes?).
Eventually I realized that there was a part of me that compounded my own trauma because I didn’t have experience in mindset work.
Oftentimes, though, it’s so much more than mindset.
For me, it included prior conditioning, nervous system deregulation, trans-generational issues, etc.—It went deeper than I realized. I’m bringing this to the surface because for some people, finding out their husband looks at porn isn’t a problem. For others, like myself, it is. When relationship trauma comes up with your clients—and it will—our job is to support them in a way that meets them wherever they’re at.
[9] Relational Trauma
Relational trauma is very real, and there’s an important method to practice when navigating our clients through this.
As powerful as our brain is, we need to psycho-educate. We need to understand that there are other moving parts that affect our behavior.
In my Relationship Trauma Certification for Coaches; I help coaches see people in a 360 degree manner. There are multiple modalities to do this, which is important because no client learns the same way.
The more information that you have, the more this will help you organically create the a holding space for healing and growth. As coaches, understanding ourselves and doing our own work will better help us to know when it makes sense to use the model for relational issues, or when to access a different modality.
[10] Your One Big R
You know what’s fun???
Learning about this stuff WHILE applying it to yourself.
In my Relationship Trauma Certification for Coaches program launching in January, YOU have the option to bring your “ONE BIG R” to the table:
That’s right. What is the biggest, toughest, perhaps taboo-like relationship you have right now? It could be with a spouse, a kid, a friend, money, an institution, anything.
You get to BRING IT into the program, apply all these tools and make some serious headway on it--BOOM!!!
Does it get better? I mean, ok, healing isn’t always a party, but there is something about getting to the other side that feels, unspeakably incredible.
