25. Fact vs. Story

marriage model Dec 09, 2021

What stories about your problem do you assume to be true? We’re discussing why this is so important to look at. How it can reduce your pain. How it can empower you to take control of your life in a new way. How it can help you create results you don’t even currently realize are possible. Could the stories you tell in your brain be creating your results in your life? Could they be optional?

In this episode you'll learn about:

Circumstances (Facts):

  • neutral data points that have happened in the world
  • something about which everyone agrees
  • no adjectives or judgments 

Thoughts (Story):

  • sentences in your mind
  • things we think about the neutral circumstances
  • opinions/perspectives-create feelings-are always optional  

Thoughts seem like circumstances. Thoughts affect everything. A helpful exercise: question everything you think is a circumstance. We talk about some examples of thoughts (story) and circumstances (facts) that we commonly see with married couples and pornography. We also address the difference between talking with a friend/family member compared to talking to a coach.

Use feelings as a clue where to start in managing your own mind. Listen to the full episode HERE.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.