40. Your Newer Better Normal

marriage pornography Dec 11, 2021

Do you find yourself frustrated and powerless while wishing for things to be different than they are? Maybe you want to go back in time. Maybe you think a new husband will do the trick. Or you wish you struggled with a different vice than porn. Why do we not want to accept our new “normal”? Why can’t I handle it on on my own like “normal” people?

It’s one thing to use imagination as the end goal to help escape our real life in this moment. It’s another thing to use imagination as a tool to help you know where you want to go and to deal with the present moment in a way that moves you in that direction. Spending time in fantasy land doesn’t help you deal with reality. If we practice choosing this fantasy (wishing things were different) over reality, it’s no wonder we turn to the fantasy of porn to escape our real life moments. How men and women both do this. Removing the fantasy can help you better clean up reality.

The question is, do you want to feel empowered to deal with your problems or feel powerless? Imagination as the end goal? Or imagination as a means to the end goal? One of these keeps you stuck and spinning. One of them helps you find focus, vision, and forward movement. How can you use your imagination to help get you where you want to go? You don’t realize it yet, but your new “normal” will be even better than the “normal” you’ve been wishing for. At the end of the podcast Danny shares a vision statement that he wrote about his vision for the future as men, husbands, fathers, priesthood holders. Don’t miss it.

CLICK HERE to listen to the full episode.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.