Dear Friend,
The journey of navigating and discovering your True Self, Femininity, and Spirituality can be an arduous one, and so much of this comes from many different directions, as we all have different backgrounds, genetic make-ups, inherited traits, brain mapping, socialization, and more.
If you can relate, I feel you.
I see you. I’ve been there.
If you have felt disoriented and confused with respect to your religion . . .
It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
It might be quite the opposite!
It may mean that something is going RIGHT.
What do I mean by this?
In many high-demand religions, there are too many paradoxes.
It makes sense that you’re confused, conflicted, disoriented, and/or frozen in indecision.
This idea of holding too many paradoxes isn’t new for us women as we’ve been taught for centuries (potentially millenia) to straddle two sides of the same fence at all times, and be willing/able/capable to show up on both sides even if we aren’t comfortable. Oftentimes we’re criticized by some whether we’re on one side or the other!
One classic example we see is the paradox of women being told to be zipped up in public but wildcats in bed. These kinds of paradoxes have been created by men, and promulgated by both men and women for thousands of years.
It’s no wonder so many of us are left feeling confused, anxious, depressed, or cut off from letting ourselves feel anything.
Instead, we stay busy, ignore our thoughts, and become robotic–and that is going against our True Nature!
And the overarching problem is:
This patriarchal system at the top gets internalized into
1) Family Systems,
2) Marital Dynamics, and
3) YOUR SYSTEM (aka your relationship with yourself).
Sit back for a second . . . breathe . . . do you feel me?
The cultural system you were born into . . . .
Gets internalized into familial and marital dynamics . . .
Which you oftentimes internalize as a young child, before you had the choice to say "No, not interested in these sets of belief systems about women, no thank you!"
THIS IS WHY UNDERSTANDING THE SYSTEMS OF PATRIARCHY SPECIFIC TO YOUR CULTURAL UPBRINGING MATTERS.
So that you can see what parts you may have internalized.
So that you can unwind the parts as an adult that you don't want or need anymore.
So that you can liberate yourself, and your family system from ideologies that are no longer serving you.
Good girl syndrome:
If you’re thinking to yourself “I know this, I just can’t seem to take up the space that I want to in my relationships.”
There are a myriad of reasons why we struggle to break free from our “good girl” space.
Being the “Good Girl” according to society’s standards provides merit and social status.
Being the “good girl” is a prosocial response we have as women to fit in, stay alive, and remain part of our groups.
Where did it start? Historically, and over differing spans of time, being a “good girl” was a matter of life or death. Being a good girl meant being chosen or given to a man during times when women couldn’t provide for themselves. Being a good girl meant that one could stay alive in a “comfortable” environment. Consenting to this was oftentimes done as a means of survival–and courage.
Of course there were other intuitive women who decided they wanted to use their unique gifts to support themselves.
These women were often cast “spinsters, old maids, & witches” when it is very possible that these women were just like me and you: human, beautiful, filled with a deep knowing that there is more to you than being someone’s property, someone’s wife or serving under someone else’s authority.
So if this has felt viscerally real and scary to you, it makes sense.
Now, I consider myself a wife and a servant of a higher cause–the difference for me, is that I chose this--and I continue to choose this--with my eyes wide open.
While at times I played a role that society or cultures laid out for me . . . .I am no longer doing this. I decided I was meant for more than robotics.
We are meant for so much more.
And if you know this for yourself but are afraid to act . . . . it makes sense--I cannot reiterate this enough.
There are been times where powerful intuitive women were ridiculed, ostracized, and even put to death for letting their True Selves be seen.
And . . . that has an affect on the collective group of survivors.
Those imprints get passed down generationally. Yes. It does. There is science to back it up.
What does this mean for you?
That if you are struggling–you want to speak up but you’re afraid, this makes absolute sense and there is a reason why. It could be some flavor of what I stated above, and it could be something else.
I’m here to support you in figuring this out for yourself so that you can develop more safety in your body–with a community of women who are here too–so that you can expand in your Spirituality beyond the bounds of what society has decided for you.
Other reasons you may find it difficult to Heal and Expand into your Truest Spiritual Self could also be due to:
- FREEZE Trauma Response: Humans are a tribal species, naturally wired to be connected to other humans. In ancient times, this loss of connection was often a matter of life and death—these generational belief systems were in your ancestors’ DNA and can get passed down. Maybe you feel that questioning will cause that loss of connection… it can feel unnatural. If there is a part of you that hasn’t had the words to describe why you’re afraid to question things, this could be part of it.
- FAWN or FEIGN Trauma Response: Also in many of our genetic make-ups. We want to fit in and stay with the crowd—consciously we may berate ourselves and wonder why we don’t stand up for ourselves, but there are reasons for this, ones that we can have compassion for. Fear might make us want to disconnect from the parts of ourselves we don’t like, but we need to listen. We need to connect.
- FLIGHT Trauma Response: This is where we keep ourselves beyond busy so that we don’t have to think about anything.
- FIGHT Trauma Response: Sometimes we’re more reactive and find ourselves wanting to push our emotions onto others. Or, we react and give into urges more than normal in ways that aren’t aligned with our true selves, almost betraying ourselves in the name of “following suit” with society.
- States & Traits. Not always trauma. Sometimes we may exhibit behavior listed above, but this doesn’t always mean it’s a trauma response. Sometimes it can have more to do with conditioned neural pathways and circuits. The work you do in this program will help you differentiate and decide for yourself.
- Anxiety and Depression. Some of us have been taught that anxiety or depression are a sign of something gone wrong–but it doesn’t always have to be. What if it’s a sign of something gone right? A sign that our intuition wants us to listen in? This is something I can help you tease out in our program. I also plan to add a video that discusses medication and how it can be helpful for some people as they navigate big life transitions. Let’s remove the stigma! You deserve the specific support you need to set up an environment conducive to your healing.
- Your Soul’s excitement could be misinterpreted as fear. When we begin to entertain the idea of stepping into an entirely new plane of BEing in this life, you may start to move into new planes of emotion that you haven’t felt before. While this can sometimes be your soul’s excitement because you’re adhering to your GPS–it sometimes creates uncertainty and our consciousness labels it as fear! Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. Discovering how to experience new depths and breadths of emotion will support you in attuning to your soul’s GPS, and knowing how to work with fear as it arises.Â
So with all this information . . . I've created a thing . . . I've felt 100% intuitively called to do it . . . for you.
Enter . . .
So . . . how do I CHANGE THIS?
You change this by joining the
HEALING CIRCLES COLLECTIVE: FOR WOMEN LOOKING TO HEAL & EXPAND THEIR SPIRITUALITY→ SAFELY
What is coming to you as you think–or want to think about what it would be like to think freely, openly about who you want to be or where your heart is calling you?
The Healing Circles Collective is a space for you to come as you are and be. Exist.
From there, you have an opportunity to be a part of a safe, collaborative group of women ready to grieve, process, and heal (be it from religious conditioning, religious trauma, spiritual abuse and/or something similar).
This is a space for collective healing so that you can free yourself to live the life that you deserve–whatever that may look like.
You deserve to live into Your spirituality, however that may look.
Healing from hurts, wounds, and systems that abuse is oftentimes necessary to lay the foundation for who you are and what you want to expand towards in your life.
Yes, this is a space for healing–and it is ALSO a place for spiritual expansion. Human Expansion. A place for you to take up space like never before.
This expansion often comes AFTER you apply correct & appropriate words to Your Lived Experience. Not what others say about your reality, but what YOU believe to be your reality.
Understanding and standing behind YOUR LIVED EXPERIENCE is what you are deserving of–so that you have a better idea of what you need to heal.
Sometimes the correct context is what you need for the shifts. Sometimes it means bringing in other conjunctive support (see definitions below).
My passion is helping women to feel safe enough in their bodies to live the lives they truly want—to support you in feeling safe enough to look inward and deeply connect with your True Self. Ultimately, I want to help you to learn what you really need and want.
Sometimes this takes a little somatic work, or nervous system regulation to make happen. There is something for you inside the program to get a feel for what works for you.
Sign me up now!PROGRAM DETAILS:
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1 Year Program
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16 accessible training/processing modules dropped weekly (35+ videos).
- Bi-monthly group coaching calls with me through December, 2023. Starting January 2024, I will run one "Office Hours" call for my entire community each month for the duration of the program (this includes members of my. Any additional bonus calls will be run by me or a Trauma-Informed Coach trained personally by me (or another trauma-informed expert).
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Calls will sometimes be general coaching calls, other times they will have themes, like:Â
Grief & Processing.
Healing & Spiritual Expansion.
Nervous System Regulation Techniques.
General Coaching on anything people want help with.
Coaching around Patriarchal Systems.
Calls related to modules on Self Trust, Intuition, Conditioning, Trauma, Abuse Cycles, Spirituality, Manifestation, and more.Â
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- Every month or two, I will either run or bring in an expert to lead you in other healing modalities. This will either be a live call or a video dropped into the portal.  During 2023, we currently have a practitioner supporting our community with EFT tapping, and another with chakra healing.Â
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Access to a subset of videos to help you connect with your body safely. This will be updated and added to as the program progresses. Â
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Upgrade options for 1:1 or small group coaching available as needed or as demand permits with trauma-informed coaches.Â
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Advanced Feminist Tools Access (dropped monthly on the 4th Month). Understanding what feminism is–and why it isn’t a dirty word–matters. The goal isn’t for women to take over men, it’s to take up equal space as humans. H.U.M.A.N.S. Regardless of age, size, gender, abilities, race, or any other make-up.Â
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Videos from other somatic and intuitive experts to support you in getting to know your own methods and modalities of healing.
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Go at your own pace.Â
- BONUS: Ever felt the effects of someone else’s porn use in your life? Joining this program provides you the option to GAIN heavily discounted access to my entire set of videos to support you as you heal/learn/recover/grow through this (Cost is a $350 upgrade). This includes over 25 videos and relevant workbooks. Click here to get more information on what this program entails.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
I have the hardest time investing in me . . . help!
How do I get more 1:1 time with you?
When will the calls be?
Can I get group coaching on things that aren’t related to religion?
I’ve been to other support groups that don’t seem helpful. It seems like a complaint festival.
I have left my high-demand religion but still struggle. Will this program be a fit for me?
I'm male or identify as male. Can I join?
Want a little more info and background around Patriarchal Systems? Read below:
PATRIARCHAL SYSTEMS
You may not understand why discussing patriarchy is problematic, but the reality is that it is. If you grew up in a society where a patriarchal structure was/is present, it is very likely that you unconsciously internalized these systems and are still using them against yourself and your body on an interpersonal level.
This happens culturally–and because of my background–I notice it heavily with women raised in the western world. It could be the same across the world, I just want to speak to communities that I’ve served over the years.
On top of the already problematic patriarchal structures and systems that we’ve been born into, there are cultural religious layers added to that.
While I accept that this system exists and that collectively I see a shift in dismantling systems that harm humans, a major problem I see is this:
High-demand religions continue to hold onto the very systems that negatively impact you, your marriage, your family, your community, and other groups you’re a part of.
This stronghold severely impacts families and even lives. Oftentimes the most marginalized groups–the very groups that Christ would have been sitting/hanging out/engaging with–are affected the most!
You might be asking: Why is she talking about these systems? I’m tired of hearing about feminism and patriarchy.
The reason I’m talking about this is that the systems we are born into don’t only affect the world at a systemic level.
They are internalized in family dynamics. This does damage. I see so much abuse rationalized or regularized because women don’t see outside of the fish bowl they were born into.
Lastly, and most painfully, I see these damaging systems get internalized into your human system. Your relationship with yourself. Your self talk. Your distrust–of even yourSELF!!!
You didn’t come into the world this way!
You were born intuit, trusting, connected to self.
This deep KNOWING has been systematically stripped of so many women through centuries and centuries with physical, emotional threats, and even death!!! I’m not trying to be dramatic here–I’m scratching the surface of the Truth of what we’ve experienced as women. To the visceral, imprinted fear that we’ve inherited from our mothers, grandmothers, and further up our ancestral lines that keeps us quiet, acquiescent, submissive, agreeable.
Don’t blame yourself for the fear to act–it is there–and if it feels deeply embedded there is a reason for it. And . . .
MAINSTREAM ONE-DIMENSIONAL COACHING IS NOT GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS.
Surely, one-dimensional coaching does help some, but over time I’ve observed the one-dimensional support people receive as more of a band-aid, or it doesn’t take into account the multidimensionality that is representative of the human race.
As you read this, check in with yourself. What do you notice about this connection that has been conditioned out of you since birth?
Who are you really? What things do you like? What are your passions? If you weren’t afraid of anything—what would you do differently today? If you didn’t feel bound to what others thought of you, how would today, tomorrow, this week, and next week be different?
What would your outlook on life be if you knew that your purpose is so much more than being constantly preoccupied, always conforming to the conditioning and cages that have potentially been placed on you since you were born?
I hear you. I feel you. I have been there. I needed support. You deserve it too.
I WANT THIS